At first glance, the words on my new mugs may seem at odds with each other. To persist means "to go on resolutely or to continue on with something," while rest means "to cease work or movement in order to relax, recover strength, or refresh oneself." They're both important to me at this stage of my life, and here's the backstory:
A month and a half ago on December 13, I had an end-of-year phone call with our adoption agency about the status of adoptions in Haiti. The outlook seems bleak. Only six referrals went out in 2022, and most of those were to families whose dossiers had been registered in Haiti in 2019. Ours was registered in March of 2021, which means that we still could have a couple of years left of waiting and updating home studies before being matched with a child. After being matched, it could take up to 18 months before our child is able to come home. I turned 46 two days after the phone call, and I told Chris, "We're probably going to be 50 years old before this child comes home, and we very likely could be grandparents."
I was a bit discouraged. 2022 was one of the most difficult years I've had to date, and I felt too old, tired, and weak to continue down this path. I asked God numerous times if He was sure He wanted us in this spot. The very next night in church, the minister said that he is so thankful that Jesus never stood up and said, "I refuse to die on the cross for that one." It hit me right between the eyes. You see, back in 2010 when we were in the adoption process for Jalen and Jordan, several people told us that we were crazy for adopting. They said it was too risky, and my standard answer was always, "What if Jesus had said that about me? What if He said, 'I'm not going to die for that one because she's too risky.' Where would I be today?" After hearing the minister's message, I thought, "Ok, God. I'll keep going with this adoption. But You're going to have to take over here and give me Your strength."
On January 1, during our Sunday morning That The World May Know Bible study with the kids, Ray Vander Laan talked about persistence. The word stuck with me, and I decided it would be a good word-of-the-year as we headed into 2023. I decided to "persist" with our adoption, at least until God showed me otherwise. On Sunday, January 8 during our afternoon church service, we read from Hebrews 11, the "faith chapter." I remember thinking that it would be good to read through it again since faith is my strongest spiritual gift. Then, the fact that it was chapter 11 registered...11s are my thing, and every time I am struggling with something, God keeps showing me 11:11 on the clock, in the Bible, etc. It's kind of like His little love note to me. He had us leave on 11/11/11 to go to Ethiopia to bring our boys home. Anyway, we were reading along in Hebrews 11 and I decided to look ahead to see what Hebrews 11:11 said. I teared up when I read it: "Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised." Of course it said that. It has always said that, but God knew that 11:11 was special to me and that I was feeling too old and worn out to continue with this adoption. Once again, He was telling me to persist and that He would be with me and give me His strength.
So here we go, ready to start updating our home study again next month. I have chosen to PERSIST, and will REST in the knowledge that God is in control and will bring everything about when it is supposed to happen. I can trust the One who has promised. We serve an awesome God.
