At The Edison restaurant, Quintin told the waitress, "I will take pizza with cheese and butter." She couldn't believe he was only 2. :)
Quintin had a ball looking at all the cars and farm equipment.
Tired little guy...
Monday, October 22, 2018
A Little Break...
Since Chris will be traveling for work every week until Thanksgiving, he took a little break last Friday and spent the day with Quintin and me. He was gone a couple of days last week, too, and flew back into Detroit on Thursday evening. We picked him up at the airport and headed to the Dearborn Inn, where we spent the night. Friday found us at The Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village. We had a nice little getaway!
Tuesday, October 16, 2018
God Is My Strength
*I am going to be completely transparent here, in case it might help someone else. Too many times, we as Christians only want to present our good side, and shy away from anyone seeing our brokenness. But God is our strength when we are weak, and I believe that when we share our weaknesses and struggles with others, true healing can happen. Prayers of our brothers and sisters are powerful.
August and September were very emotional months for our family. On the evening of August 10, I found out that I was pregnant. At 41 years old, it came as a shock to Chris and me. Once again, we thought our child-bearing years were over. I felt that at my age, I was too weak to go through this again, but over and over, God reminded me that He was my strength. That very night, God gave me a beautiful pink hydrangea. It was growing on a bush in our yard that has never before bore blooms, and I haven't seen any since. I knew it was a gift from Him, and felt that we were going to have a little girl.
We started to plan and imagine what this was going to look like for our family. Just 3 days before, I had booked non-refundable airline tickets for Chris, Shana, and I to go to Puerto Rico over spring break for Shana's senior trip/cruise. We knew this was no longer going to work, so we began to look at other dates. Since I had gotten rid of most of Quintin's baby gear and clothing, we ordered more. I purchased new maternity clothes since I had given mine away. I started taking prenatal vitamins, and made an appointment with my doctor. Through it all, an excitement began to build. I had a new life growing inside of me, and we all love babies!
On the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, Shana and I spent the morning getting some of her senior pictures taken. We met Chris and the boys for lunch in Defiance, and then he headed home while we drove downtown to take more pictures. All of a sudden, I knew something wasn't right. Shana pulled into a gas station, and as I exited the car, it was very obvious that something was very wrong. What took place was like something from a nightmare. I'll spare you most of the details, but think trails of blood through the store, Shana and I panicking in the restroom while people outside banged on the door, setting off the store's alarm when we tried to leave, an angry cashier, people staring, and overwhelmed calls home - an ordeal for sure. I had just had a miscarriage...my first, and I was devastated. Chris drove to meet us and took me home, where we shared with the kids that mommy was going to have a baby, but it didn't make it. We all grieved, in different ways, and decided that we now had more to go to heaven for. We had a sweet little baby waiting for us.
Since it was a holiday weekend, our hospital suggested that we contact our doctor on Tuesday when she was back in the office. On Sunday after church, Chris whisked me away to a hotel, where the two of us spent the evening grieving and trusting in God to get us through this difficult time. The next day, the kids met us at the zoo, and we spent the day together. I continued on with life, readjusting my brain while grieving, being constantly reminded that even though I felt all kinds of guilt and sadness, God was my strength. Satan definitely tried to discourage me by telling me that it was my fault...that I had done something to harm the baby or that I hadn't been as excited as I should have been when I found out I was pregnant. But I could feel God there, right beside me, through it all. I sent back my maternity clothes, and gave away or returned the baby items I had bought. I had special-ordered a little t-shirt for Quintin that he was going to wear to announce the pregnancy to our families. It was emblazoned with, "I'm being promoted to big brother in April, 2019" on the front. This sat in my closet, now unusable.
On Tuesday, I went to Fort Wayne to have some blood work done. On Thursday, we were at the airport waiting to fly to Florida, when I got a call from the nurse. She said my blood results had come back, and the numbers were way too high. It appeared as if I was still pregnant. What?!?! How could this be? I wondered if I had been expecting twins...had I miscarried one, and the other was still alive? I made an appointment to have an ultrasound the following Tuesday, and spent a very emotional weekend in Florida. I had no idea what was going on with my body. Was I pregnant or wasn't I? My brain tried to grasp this new change, but it was hard to remember things like telling the TSA agent at the airport that I might be pregnant and should not go through the X-ray machine.
Tuesday found Chris and I in the ultrasound room, waiting with bated breath. Then, we saw our baby on the screen. Our baby! I was 8 weeks along, but the stoic-faced technician told us that there was no heartbeat. We were completely numb. My poor brain couldn't keep up. I had been pregnant, then I hadn't, then I was again, now I wasn't?! We talked to the doctor and scheduled a D&C, which took place that Friday, September 14. It was over, but the emotional roller coaster was still going up and down, turning me in too many directions, too quickly. At times, I felt I was going to fly off the edge and plummet to the ground. But....God never let me down. He was there, continually reminding me that He was my strength. It was the recurring theme throughout all of August and September.
I have learned that most miscarriages are kept quiet. This can make someone experiencing it feel lonely. I felt, at times, that I was suffering in silence and no one understood what I was going through. The fact is, one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage. One in five! There are many women out there who have experienced it, and understood exactly what I was going through. It was so helpful to me when we decided to share with our families and some close friends what we were dealing with, and they could offer their prayers and support. Some informed me that I was not alone...that they had been through it, too. I was thankful when others reached out, and I want others to know that they can reach out to me, too, if they find themselves in this situation. There will be hard days...the date on which I was supposed to have my first doctor appointment came and went, along with the date on which we had planned to announce the pregnancy. Those were emotional for me. I was due on Easter weekend, so the holiday might seem a little different next year. But time will ease the pain, and God will continue to be faithful.
My child slipped away without a cry, and I find myself missing him/her desperately even though we didn't get to meet. But I imagine my baby sitting on Jesus's lap or playing with other children who have gone on before. I'm encouraged by the thought that my child got to skip this fallen world altogether and go straight to heaven. It makes it seem a little easier to strive for that goal daily, now.
August and September were very emotional months for our family. On the evening of August 10, I found out that I was pregnant. At 41 years old, it came as a shock to Chris and me. Once again, we thought our child-bearing years were over. I felt that at my age, I was too weak to go through this again, but over and over, God reminded me that He was my strength. That very night, God gave me a beautiful pink hydrangea. It was growing on a bush in our yard that has never before bore blooms, and I haven't seen any since. I knew it was a gift from Him, and felt that we were going to have a little girl.
We started to plan and imagine what this was going to look like for our family. Just 3 days before, I had booked non-refundable airline tickets for Chris, Shana, and I to go to Puerto Rico over spring break for Shana's senior trip/cruise. We knew this was no longer going to work, so we began to look at other dates. Since I had gotten rid of most of Quintin's baby gear and clothing, we ordered more. I purchased new maternity clothes since I had given mine away. I started taking prenatal vitamins, and made an appointment with my doctor. Through it all, an excitement began to build. I had a new life growing inside of me, and we all love babies!
On the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, Shana and I spent the morning getting some of her senior pictures taken. We met Chris and the boys for lunch in Defiance, and then he headed home while we drove downtown to take more pictures. All of a sudden, I knew something wasn't right. Shana pulled into a gas station, and as I exited the car, it was very obvious that something was very wrong. What took place was like something from a nightmare. I'll spare you most of the details, but think trails of blood through the store, Shana and I panicking in the restroom while people outside banged on the door, setting off the store's alarm when we tried to leave, an angry cashier, people staring, and overwhelmed calls home - an ordeal for sure. I had just had a miscarriage...my first, and I was devastated. Chris drove to meet us and took me home, where we shared with the kids that mommy was going to have a baby, but it didn't make it. We all grieved, in different ways, and decided that we now had more to go to heaven for. We had a sweet little baby waiting for us.
Since it was a holiday weekend, our hospital suggested that we contact our doctor on Tuesday when she was back in the office. On Sunday after church, Chris whisked me away to a hotel, where the two of us spent the evening grieving and trusting in God to get us through this difficult time. The next day, the kids met us at the zoo, and we spent the day together. I continued on with life, readjusting my brain while grieving, being constantly reminded that even though I felt all kinds of guilt and sadness, God was my strength. Satan definitely tried to discourage me by telling me that it was my fault...that I had done something to harm the baby or that I hadn't been as excited as I should have been when I found out I was pregnant. But I could feel God there, right beside me, through it all. I sent back my maternity clothes, and gave away or returned the baby items I had bought. I had special-ordered a little t-shirt for Quintin that he was going to wear to announce the pregnancy to our families. It was emblazoned with, "I'm being promoted to big brother in April, 2019" on the front. This sat in my closet, now unusable.
On Tuesday, I went to Fort Wayne to have some blood work done. On Thursday, we were at the airport waiting to fly to Florida, when I got a call from the nurse. She said my blood results had come back, and the numbers were way too high. It appeared as if I was still pregnant. What?!?! How could this be? I wondered if I had been expecting twins...had I miscarried one, and the other was still alive? I made an appointment to have an ultrasound the following Tuesday, and spent a very emotional weekend in Florida. I had no idea what was going on with my body. Was I pregnant or wasn't I? My brain tried to grasp this new change, but it was hard to remember things like telling the TSA agent at the airport that I might be pregnant and should not go through the X-ray machine.
Tuesday found Chris and I in the ultrasound room, waiting with bated breath. Then, we saw our baby on the screen. Our baby! I was 8 weeks along, but the stoic-faced technician told us that there was no heartbeat. We were completely numb. My poor brain couldn't keep up. I had been pregnant, then I hadn't, then I was again, now I wasn't?! We talked to the doctor and scheduled a D&C, which took place that Friday, September 14. It was over, but the emotional roller coaster was still going up and down, turning me in too many directions, too quickly. At times, I felt I was going to fly off the edge and plummet to the ground. But....God never let me down. He was there, continually reminding me that He was my strength. It was the recurring theme throughout all of August and September.
I have learned that most miscarriages are kept quiet. This can make someone experiencing it feel lonely. I felt, at times, that I was suffering in silence and no one understood what I was going through. The fact is, one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage. One in five! There are many women out there who have experienced it, and understood exactly what I was going through. It was so helpful to me when we decided to share with our families and some close friends what we were dealing with, and they could offer their prayers and support. Some informed me that I was not alone...that they had been through it, too. I was thankful when others reached out, and I want others to know that they can reach out to me, too, if they find themselves in this situation. There will be hard days...the date on which I was supposed to have my first doctor appointment came and went, along with the date on which we had planned to announce the pregnancy. Those were emotional for me. I was due on Easter weekend, so the holiday might seem a little different next year. But time will ease the pain, and God will continue to be faithful.
My child slipped away without a cry, and I find myself missing him/her desperately even though we didn't get to meet. But I imagine my baby sitting on Jesus's lap or playing with other children who have gone on before. I'm encouraged by the thought that my child got to skip this fallen world altogether and go straight to heaven. It makes it seem a little easier to strive for that goal daily, now.
Monday, October 15, 2018
THANK YOU!!!
A huge THANK YOU to everyone who came out and supported our orphan care benefit dinner and auction on Saturday night! Over $20,000 was donated to orphans around the world, and on their behalf, we are truly grateful. May God bless you always for your generosity! If you could not make it but would like to join us in elevating the standard of orphan care, please donate here: https://allgodschildren.formstack.com/forms/manz.
THANK YOU!!!
Friday, October 12, 2018
If Creation Sings Your Praises, So Will I
If the stars were made to worship, so will I
If the mountains bow in reverence, so will I
If the oceans roar Your greatness, so will I
If the wind goes where You send it, so will I
If the rocks cry out in silence, so will I
For if everything exists to lift You high,
So will I.
Wednesday, October 10, 2018
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
The Oldest and the Youngest...
Shana has been accepted to Defiance College for next year! And she was offered the Dean's Scholarship! Congratulations, Shana!
Quintin is quite the kid. He always has to have things lined up, from his food to his toys:
This morning, Quintin was in the bathroom by the toilet paper roll, which is very tempting to a 2-year-old. I said, "Quintin, don't you dare unroll that." But he proceeded to unroll the whole thing anyway. When I looked over and saw him, he quickly tried to roll it back up, saying, "See, mom? I'm rolling it back up so you don't spank me. I'm doing it very fast. You're beautiful, mom. See? I'm rolling it up very fast. Please don't spank me. I'm putting it right back. You're so beautiful, mom." 🤣
Shana is going to college for social work, and because she has taken the College Credit Plus option while in high school, she will have her degree early and will start working on her Master's. She has a huge heart for helping others, and I know she'll do a great job. Have you ever heard the song "The Broken Ones?" Shana has loved that song ever since she was little, and it has always reminded me of her. Here are the lyrics, with the name changed to fit:
Shana came home one day with a raggedy Raggedy Ann.
She said "Mama, look what I found in the neighbors' garbage can."
It had a missing left arm, and a right button eye hanging by a thread.
She carried it gently up to her room and laid it on her bed
with her other dolls.
She said "Mama, look what I found in the neighbors' garbage can."
It had a missing left arm, and a right button eye hanging by a thread.
She carried it gently up to her room and laid it on her bed
with her other dolls.
She loves the broken ones, the ones that need a little patchin' up
She sees the diamond in the rough and makes it shine like new.
It really doesn't take that much, a willing heart and a tender touch.
If everybody loved like she does, there'd be a lot less broken ones.
She sees the diamond in the rough and makes it shine like new.
It really doesn't take that much, a willing heart and a tender touch.
If everybody loved like she does, there'd be a lot less broken ones.
Twenty years later at a shelter on Eighteenth Avenue,
A seventeen year old girl shows up all black and blue
with needle tracks in her left arm, almost too weak to stand.
She says, "I'm lost and I need help," as Shana takes her hand
And says, "Come on in!"
A seventeen year old girl shows up all black and blue
with needle tracks in her left arm, almost too weak to stand.
She says, "I'm lost and I need help," as Shana takes her hand
And says, "Come on in!"
Quintin is quite the kid. He always has to have things lined up, from his food to his toys:
Sweet, sleepy baby boy:
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