As for me, I know of nothing else but miracles. - Walt Whitman

Monday, January 9, 2012

Missing Her.....

Our twins love their birth mother so much, and it has been very evident to us that she loved them, too. We are privileged to have lots of photos of her and the boys together, and they love to look at them. She also made 3 matching necklaces; 1 for each of the boys and 1 for herself. She is wearing hers in all of the photos we have of her. The necklaces are the only personal items that Jalen and Jordan have from their life in Gambela - precious keepsakes indeed.

The twins pray for their birth mother every night, and always say she is "konjo" (beautiful). And she is. While they have attached really well to us, they miss their birth mother sometimes.

Several weeks ago, Jordan told Chris that when "A----- (the boys' birth mother) bye-bye, Jordan cry." He also said that "A----- no na," which means she didn't come back.

A few nights later, Shana came and told us that Jalen was sad, but he wouldn't say why. Chris asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A-----. A----- na," which means that he wants her to come. It just about broke my heart, but we tried to explain to him that A----- is sick and he is our little boy now. We told him that A-----loves him, that we love him, and that we love A-----, too. He wanted to see her again, so we gave him a photo of both boys kissing her on the cheeks, and he took it to bed with him. He seemed OK then, as we showered him with kisses and told him how much we love him, but it was still painful for me to watch. I'm sure these little guys love their birth mother so much, and probably do not fully understand yet that they will not be seeing her anymore. I grieve, too, knowing the pain that she must be dealing with. I, as a mother, cannot fathom having to give up my children. While adoption is a beautiful thing, it is also heartbreaking and full of loss. A-----'s love for her children was profound and sacrificial, and we pray each day that God will be with her and give her peace.

This photo was taken the week before we were reunited with our boys. This was the last time the boys saw their beautiful birth mother.

The twins with both of their mommies. We were privileged to meet A----- in August when we met our boys for the first time. They are wearing their necklaces in this photo. 


  1. i look forward to reading your story tonight when my blessings are in bed. 6 months ago my husbands niece called and 36 hours later we were blessed with a 1 and 3 year old little boy. it has been hard because they know her. i am going to start praying for these blessings and there adjustment period

  2. Reading this absolutely broke my heart for the boys and their birth Mom. There is so much pain in adoption and yet because of our Savior it can be beautiful and full of redemption. Like you said, because I'm a mom this hit home so much and made me weep. I can't imagine the sacrificial love these women have to give up their most prized possessions. What an amazing gift to be able to have those pictures of the boys with priceless. Thanks for sharing - we all need to be reminded of this side of adoption and pray for the birth mothers.