Last time, we talked about our arduous adoption process. It's like we've been "pregnant" for 4 years now. God is SO good and faithful, though, and keeps reassuring me that this is the path He has for us, even through the hot and dry desert times. Here are a few of the ebenezers He's given me in the past few months:
1. Every time I tell God I'm too old to continue this adoption, He has me open the Bible to Hebrews 11:11..."By faith Sarah herself received power to conceive, even when she was past the age, since she considered him faithful who had promised." If you know me well, you also know that 11:11 has always been one of God's little love notes to me. It means that He's got this, everything is going to be ok, and I just need to trust Him. He even had us leave on 11/11/11 to pick up Jalen and Jordan in Ethiopia.
2. In September, I had a discouraging conversation with a local businessman. He told me how risky adoption is, and related to me the horror stories he has heard and how adoption did not work out for some members of his family. I started, once again, to worry about this adoption and think we were in over our heads. On my morning walk, I prayed that Jesus would cast out my fears. When I walked back in the house, I looked at the clock. It was 11:11 on 3 different devices that don't normally have the same time.
Just then, I got a text from Malia, who was doing homework at the local coffee shop. She said, "Just finished listening to a song with my headphones and while it got quiet before playing the next song, I realized Grounded was playing the exact same song. Great minds think alike, I guess." I asked what song, and then looked it up on YouTube since I hadn't heard it before. And immediately I knew why the same song had played at the same time. It was a God moment, for me. You see, she needed to text me because God needed me to look the song up online. Because, when I did, I heard this ad: "If you're worrying, know there's someone working relentlessly. If you're questioning, know we are finding better answers. (And then something about working together for your child.) - Cincinnati Children's."
Cincinnati Children's! Our adopted child's medical facility, who we've already contracted with! God was showing me that He's got the right people in the right places to help us. And never before had I heard an ad for Cincinnati Children's Hospital.
As I sat there staring at my phone, a post came up from a friend who has been fostering. It read,
"I almost said no.
We got a call a couple of weeks ago, asking if we would take a newborn baby. He would need to be admitted awhile longer, but came home with us a few nights ago. He is beautiful and perfect and so loved here.
The last couple of weeks I have been anxiously preparing as much as I could. Researching, talking with other foster moms, prepping meals, washing baby clothes. And I've been praying.
Throughout the nights when I would wake and almost panic about how we were going to do this, I prayed. When I wanted to run the other direction and keep our "safe, comfortable life" the same, I prayed. I prayed for him, for his parents, for his siblings, and for us.
I'm sharing this because I always look around and wonder how people do hard things. I think they must have special energy levels that I don't, or mass courage that I don't. What I never considered was that more than likely they don't have these things. They are most likely very afraid, too. But they saw something worth going through the hard for.
This precious little guy is worth every sacrifice we are making right now. God assured us over and over again this was His will for our family, and He has showed up mightily here.
And He will for you, too."
Thank You, Jesus. That was just the encouragement I needed to keep going.
3. Recently, I have been so worried about this adoption. A couple of weeks ago, I had a conversation with someone who is a school administrator in a nearby city. She told me that they have quite a few Haitians who have moved into the school system in the last few years, and said, "Those kids are MAJORLY traumatized from all the things they've seen in Haiti. And these are the privileged ones. Their families chose to move here."
The next day in church, my brother-in-law Sam had the service. And it was for me. He talked about adoption, living in the Spirit, rainbows and promises (a huge theme in the twins' adoption process), God inviting us to come see what He has for the future and inviting us to be a part, how we get tired of pursuing (my words for the year = persist, persevere, pursue) but knowing He will help, and how He wants us to lovingly regard our fellow humans.
During my devotions that week, I read the verse, "See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called the children of God..." 1 John 3:1. How I take this for granted! It reminded me of our adoption again. God adopted me; how could I not do the same? We love because He first loved us.
The next Sunday in church, we read, "And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me." Matthew 18:5
Thank You, Jesus, for giving me the strength and encouragement to keep going. Help me to trust You more and to remember that everything You have for me to do is for my good and Your glory.
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