"A" knows things about my boys that I will never know. She experienced all of the "firsts" with them: the kicks and hiccups inside her tummy (did they fight back then, too?); the hard labor and delivery of Jalen, and then being told that there was a Jordan coming along, too; another hard labor and delivery (hours later) of a second new little life; holding them to her breast for the first time; first smiles; first steps; first words; etc, etc, etc. Yet I am experiencing so many things that she will never be a part of. She gave up two of the most precious things on earth to her; and through her sacrifice I have been blessed. We are two women, on opposite sides of the earth, who are mothers to the same children. We share them and their story, and our hearts will always be connected. I love her dearly, and am grieving for the tragedy that had to happen in order for these two gorgeous boys to call me "mommy."
This earth is a fallen and sinful place, but what satan uses to tear apart and destroy, God can redeem. He can bring beauty from ashes. And while I don't fully understand this whole adoption thing, I know God's ways and thoughts are higher than mine. "A" was His "plan A" for my boys all along. But the brokenness that satan threw into the mix had to be redeemed....I was a part of that redemption plan. And I will forever be honored, grateful, and humbled because of this great, sacrificial love and opportunity.