Raw...

There is a little boy halfway around the world who used to call me mama. And I am the only "mama" he has ever known. He has been waiting for me. And it is complicated. Every second of every day, my heart hurts. My heart is burdened. My heart grieves. And sometimes, my heart goes numb. It is complicated. And because there are eyes all over the world who read or could potentially read this blog, I cannot post many details. It is complicated.

But Jesus knows, and Jesus cares. He is being quiet for now, and that's ok. He knows that a mama's heart doesn't like to be messed with. And He is my strength.When things are dark and unknown, I'll put my trust in Him. Because He already knows the outcome. He's already there.

I knew what I was getting into when I called you.
I knew what I was getting into when I said your name, but I said it just the same.
I knew what I was getting into and I still want you.
I knew what I was getting into.

I knew what I was getting into and I still chose you.
I knew what I was getting into and I still want you.
I knew what I was getting into when I said your name, but I said it just the same.
I knew what I was getting into.

And I am not shocked by your weakness.
And I am not shocked even by your sin.
And I am not shocked by your brokenness.

I knew what I was getting into and I still want you.
I knew what I was getting into and I still like you.
I knew what I was getting into and I still chose you.

'Cause only I can see the end from the beginning.
And only I can see where this is going.
And only I can see the end from the beginning.
And I see in you the seeds of love.
And I see in you strength when all you see is your failure and all you feel is ashamed.
I can see deeper than that.
I know you better than that.

I knew what I was getting into when I called you.
I knew what I was getting into when I said your name.
I said it just the same.
I knew what getting into and I still want you.
I knew what I was getting into and I still like you.

You're only at the beginning.
You've only just begun and I know where you are going
And all you can see in the moment is that you're hurting.
And all you can see in the moment is that you're aching. 
But listen:

I knew what I was getting into when I called you.
I knew what I was getting into and I still want you.
I knew what I was getting into and I still like you.
I knew what I was getting into when I called you.

Just don't give up.
And don't give in.
If you don't quit, you win, you win.

Just don't give up.
And don't give in.
If you don't quit, you win, you win.

Everything is in my hands.
It's going to be alright.
Everything is in my hands.
It's going to be alright.
It's going to be okay.
Everything is in my hands.
It's going to be alright.
It's going to be Okay.
And you don't have to pretend to be something or someone that you're not.
'Cause I know you better than that, even better, even better than that.
Listen my Beloved:

I knew what I was getting into when I called you.
I knew what I was getting into when I said your name.
I said it just the same.
I knew what I was getting into and I still like you.
I knew what I was getting into and I still chose you.

-Misty Edwards