Attitude Adjustment

Yesterday was just one of those days. Nothing was going right and everything just seemed to be falling apart. I was grumpy and grouchy, and rather liked being that way. Didn't really feel good, decided I was tired of waiting for news on our adoption, tired of nobody really understanding what we're going through (with the exception of those who have adopted before), was worried about finances, had cranky, uncooperative kids, felt stressed about projects I'm working on and decisions that need to be made that will affect our future, decided that my wonderful husband has been working way too many hours lately, etc, etc, etc. Basically I acted like a martyr all.day.long. And was a terrible mother. And a horrible example. And a despicable servant of God. Sad to say, but I had a big, long pity party for myself. AND ENJOYED IT. (Yeah, basically I needed a good, sound spanking.)

Then, last night in church, we heard about sacrificial suffering. And I was soon put back in my place. Look at what Jesus endured. FOR ME. Look at the millions of people across the face of the earth today that suffer. ALL DAY. EVERY DAY. I am so completely spoiled, and have absolutely NOTHING to complain about. And when I do have a bad day, I need to remember that God's strength is made perfect in my weakness. It brings about humility. And I need to count it all joy. After all, God has promised, "When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee." And my favorite part, "I gave...Ethiopia...for thee...Fear not: for I am with thee: I will bring thy seed from the east, and gather thee from the west; I will say to the north, Give up; and to the south, Keep not back: bring my sons from far, and my daughters from the ends of the earth. (Isaiah 43:2-6). So, even though I stress out about the whole adoption process, God has already promised me that he has a child for me. Obviously, the timing is not right yet. I need to be patient and wait on God; He knows best. He was there when our child was conceived, and He has known from the beginning that the child would be for us. He created the child with us in mind. And He can see all things, while we can only see what is directly in front of our faces. So I just need to learn to trust Him more. Not just for our adoption, but for everything else I worried about yesterday, too. He is in control, and I'm so glad. If it were left up to me, I'm sure I'd have many more days just like yesterday. I would be worrying instead of trusting. Grouching when I should be praising. Yelling when I should be helping. Complaining when I should be thanking.

So, now that my attitude has been adjusted (at least a little bit anyway), I'm ready for a new day. Anxious to see what God has in store for me. And willing to try a little harder to be the mother, wife and servant that I should be. By God's grace.